thailand

Last night I watched as a few feet from my eyes a man and woman had sex to Simon and Garfunkel’s “hello darkness.” They were both robotic, the man was thin and dried out like a raisin. He looked around nervously as some stood up and walked out. They were facing the other way when she gave him a blow job, it was the only thing that turned me on. Bangkok did not allow me to feel comfortable.

The girl had her feet up in the air against the mirrored wall. Lying with her back on the floor. She would shoot a carved out vegetable penis over her head and slide back to catch it. On the third toss she missed and the dildo landed with a slap sliding across the stage and onto the floor. An old woman with a flashlight came over, it was under the chair next to me. No one dared to touch it. The girl looked very embarrassed and left the stage.

Walking down Kho San road and older man caught my attention among the constant waves of people. He was white in his forties or so, big build and wearing jean shorts cut real short like a pair of bikini bottoms. More than anything it put a question mark in my brain and made me suddenly aware that there are so many stories around me everyday. Not that all are worth hearing, but that they’re there all the same. A million stories all around, the book of the world. I need to read more pages.

Sitting in a hole in the wall off the main road, I’m starting to appreciate Bangkok, (not like or admire.) There are a few Thais sitting around me drinking beer. The light here is soft, it is a good place to write. On the walls there are black stencils, about 6 inches high of stripper women grabbing their ankles? Underneath is the caption “The FCUK Public House.” The only thing behind this place is an alleyway, in fact the whole bar really is an alleyway, no wall in front or behind. I’m pretty sure the waitress here isn’t going to be grabbing her ankles, I’m also pretty sure no one would want this waitress grabbing her ankles.
Maybe the happy brownie kids will be out when I make my way back to bed. Not sure if I’ll be indulging, I’m tired and have been reading books on the horrors of the Thai justice/prison system. Brownies here have the potential to be not so happy.
In more than general Bangkok feels a free mans city. Not that I didn’t enjoy going through the markets
around Chinatown today, but things really wake up at night. Everyone gets hungry. There are a hundred
right and wrong turns and being with my wife that puts me on the defensive, worried for her safety,
burdened with the role of protector. Solo though these same turns are what call for another drink, they drag
me deep into places of strangeness, places that vibrate with a surreal intensity. They make me vibrate from the inside out and feel for real the dangerous and exciting energies. The tuk tuks are breaking my concentration and the Bee gees are on the speakers, Night Fever, Night Fever.
A Thai man just came up and started, I guess begging from two other Thais. He is wearing a tang-top and had lots of tattoos. They looked away ignoring him, he dropped to his knees and spoke loudly. Quickly he moved on. I’m sure he was drunk…